Song of Confidences

Transmitted by Tantrik Yogi Dharmanidhi Sarasvati, Acharya

The mantra “aham” – I am (this Universe of form/no form) – this is the ultimate confidence. It is not confidence in anything but the root cause of any and all confidence.

For divya bhavas of the anupaya order this “confidence” is their natural state. This is why there is no “accomplishment” when a being is initiated into the mantra “aham.” There is nothing “to accomplish” or “have confidence in.” All is One – as it is – as it should be. If I have this confidence I will realize Essence.

This “aham” confidence – is all our natural birthright, it is who we are, but for many practitioners this state is difficult to realize. Causes are many and they are unimportant pragmatically speaking.

If you don’t have the “aham” mantra state, then make the decision to develop confidence in “something.”

Can you have confidence in the Universe? Do you relate to the Universe as a loving friend, a greater part of yourself? Can you relax into the clear understanding that this Universe is so big, unknown, and powerful that there really is nothing you can do to secure your place in it; nothing you can do with your small willpower to hold back it’s “plan” for you?

What would it be like if you were to let go and totally trust that the Universe is neither a wildly unsafe force to be tamed and organized, nor a huge playground to be used (banquet to be eaten) – but a caring, responsive and intelligent agency? The divya bhava of the shambhavopaya path continually opens to the Universe – moment to moment and all 3 centers reflect that in conduct. Do you have confidence in the Universe to guide you? Will you develop your sensitivity, sensibility to let it guide you? If I have this confidence I will realize Essence.

If you cannot make that decision to have confidence in the Universe then can you have confidence that you have a Path? Can you trust that each moment reveals your Path and that in a very real way there is a flow of energy and events that you are participating in, and that this is your Path? Is it possible to have confidence and trust in what is moment-to-moment, and that your Path is the moment-to-moment unfolding? Can you allow that to unfold without grasping for a plan or some way to lasso time and make her safe and secure?

If you can trust your Path, if you’re not groping with the question of your Dharma and how to live it, but you understand your Dharma to be a moment-to-moment opening to what is – you have confidence in the Path. You are working at the level of shambhavopaya divya bhavana and you will realize your Essence in that. If I have this confidence I will realize Essence.

But what if you cannot remain aware of the moment-to-moment flow of energy (my Path) without separating it out – objectifying it? What if I cannot really trust that “Path” yet – that it really exists and that I am capable of experiencing it?

Then you must cultivate confidence in the method, the training itself. You must realize that many thousands of masters have come this same way, used the same techniques, received the same instructions and empowerments. They practiced in a time where it was more dangerous to do so if not much harder to find authentic teachings than now. If you cannot find confidence in your Path then follow the example of the Vira bhava of the shaktopaya and exert yourself in the method and ultimate confidence in the fruit it bears. Know yourself to be in the company of great masters from all ages and draw on that inspiration. Let each day’s training build a body of belief and dedication. If I have this confidence I will realize Essence.

But it may be that I’m inconsistent with practice and that my results are sporadic or shallow. My mind energy, and desires, seem so unruly that they spoil my training continually; therefore it is hard for me to trust that practicing the method will lead me to realization of Essence.

If your confidence in the method is not firm, then cultivate confidence in yourself. Know that your arising from the black mystery of the womb of Time-Space is no mistake. Know that you needn’t be saved by someone else, nor by kowtowing to deities. You needn’t be saved at all. Have confidence in your existence – temporary, mutable, and not what it appears to be, yet – your self-awareness IS, and that cannot be denied. Let this be your rock of confidence. This self-awareness is who you are – cling to that – have confidence in that sense of self as a Vira bhava of the anavopaya method. If I have this confidence I will realize Essence.

If you say you cannot and do not have this confidence, even in yourself as self-awareness, because self-awareness comes and goes, because you feel dull, in a fog at times. If you have never felt like the hero of your own life – or just competent in life then do not despair – you can realize your Essence through confidence in your connection to all beings and things. Take confidence in the Pashu Path of anavopaya.

It is undeniable that you are not alone in the world. That you depend on beings, and they on you, that you are a part of a great orchestral movement of Nature. Have confidence in your interconnectedness.

Cultivate such a rich sense of belonging that the truth of Essence is revealed in those interactions – in the oneness of community and nature. Have confidence in the kula and your place in it – see it working as One. Realize your Essence through your confidence in the interbeingness of all things. Open to that and spill over your individual boundaries of seeming permanent, isolated, into cosmic harmony revealing Essence. If I have this confidence I will realize Essence.

If all these categories of confidence, all these ways of realizing Essence appear impossible, if it seems that not even confidence in yourself or your interconnectedness to all beings can be cultivated, then put your absolute confidence and trust in the Essence that you experience in your Guru. Create an unbroken and profound connection to that tangible experience of Essence directly in front of you in the form of infinite compassion and wisdom. Become one with the Guru in Body, Speech and Mind. Attain the Guru-Yoga and have for yourself the realization of the master. Then, though you had the least confidence of all – you will have the highest experience – the AHAM mantra.

If I have confidence in my Guru I will realize Essence.

Cultivating any of these confidences I realize Essence.